Sign in › VIEW LEADERBOARD
Four Seasons
Four Seasons
A quick trip through the seasons inspired by my local nature reserve.
3Flash fiction
Declan Wiseman (United Kingdom)
Silence descended over the land; even the river did not murmur. Grasses lay haphazardly as rabbits crawled sluggishly. Even the sparrows had been muted, who slumped on the branches of a tree. An oak tree, that itself was withered and decrepit and frail.
Life was so abundant, yet the environment was so cold, clinical and constricted. It was if Mother Nature herself had upped sticks and left, leaving behind hollow, soulless carcases.
So, it was a surprise when suddenly, a figure emerged north of the river over the wooded crest, thudding in steel clad boots whilst the sterilising wind wafted at his overcoat. Purpose. Energy. Desire. A complete contrast to the surroundings. Yet, the power within this figure only served to contribute to this ever-present gloom. As quickly as he had appeared, he had disappeared into the low lying mist.
Shortly after, yet another figure emerged. This time a Maiden came hopping, skipping and jumping. Suddenly crocuses, daffodils and daisies rocketed through the water-logged earth as grasses stood to attention whilst filing in ranks. Sparrows soared through the air, proclaiming the arrival of this new season. She continued to skip along to the boughs of the oak tree, which now budded, promising leaves aplenty. The mist lifted, allowing the sun to radiate down. Once again, this new figure swiftly departed.
Energy pulsed in the wood, across the flowering grassland and among the fauna. This energy encapsulated in not one, but two intertwined figures all in one. A man, with steel clad boots with a crisp white shirt with buttons undone in physical harmony with a sprightly Maiden, who was adorned in an explosion of colour and patterns. Together they walked the land, the rabbits dashing around as the sparrows song went into overdrive. The land was coming alive like a carnival. Trees were full of leaf and life, snapdragons, Peruvian lilies and freesia all around, the river gushing by bursting full of perch, trout and bream. Life was booming.
But, the party didn't last forever. The couple separated leaving the man all alone. The sun began to fall deeper in the sky, casting an autumnal glow. Time stalled. The oak tree began to wither again; it leaves merely a souvenir of the party, rustling as the rabbits hastily retreated to their burrows. Brown, amber, red, yellow, no green in sight apart from the grass that now begun to cut up under the man's steel clad boots.
Retrieving his overcoat, he got back to work.
Life was so abundant, yet the environment was so cold, clinical and constricted. It was if Mother Nature herself had upped sticks and left, leaving behind hollow, soulless carcases.
So, it was a surprise when suddenly, a figure emerged north of the river over the wooded crest, thudding in steel clad boots whilst the sterilising wind wafted at his overcoat. Purpose. Energy. Desire. A complete contrast to the surroundings. Yet, the power within this figure only served to contribute to this ever-present gloom. As quickly as he had appeared, he had disappeared into the low lying mist.
Shortly after, yet another figure emerged. This time a Maiden came hopping, skipping and jumping. Suddenly crocuses, daffodils and daisies rocketed through the water-logged earth as grasses stood to attention whilst filing in ranks. Sparrows soared through the air, proclaiming the arrival of this new season. She continued to skip along to the boughs of the oak tree, which now budded, promising leaves aplenty. The mist lifted, allowing the sun to radiate down. Once again, this new figure swiftly departed.
Energy pulsed in the wood, across the flowering grassland and among the fauna. This energy encapsulated in not one, but two intertwined figures all in one. A man, with steel clad boots with a crisp white shirt with buttons undone in physical harmony with a sprightly Maiden, who was adorned in an explosion of colour and patterns. Together they walked the land, the rabbits dashing around as the sparrows song went into overdrive. The land was coming alive like a carnival. Trees were full of leaf and life, snapdragons, Peruvian lilies and freesia all around, the river gushing by bursting full of perch, trout and bream. Life was booming.
But, the party didn't last forever. The couple separated leaving the man all alone. The sun began to fall deeper in the sky, casting an autumnal glow. Time stalled. The oak tree began to wither again; it leaves merely a souvenir of the party, rustling as the rabbits hastily retreated to their burrows. Brown, amber, red, yellow, no green in sight apart from the grass that now begun to cut up under the man's steel clad boots.
Retrieving his overcoat, he got back to work.
Read Reviews
Review 1:
Compelling hook?
Fresh?
Strong characters?
Entertaining?
Main character
- Connect us to your main protagonist with a deeper characterization. Could your protagonist have a few more distinguishing character traits?
Character conflict
- The reader’s experience of the story is heightened when the characters’ goals, conflicts and purpose are clear. Perhaps giving this aspect of the story further attention could be worthwhile.
Plot and pace
- Maintaining the right pace and sustaining the reader’s interest is a difficult balancing act. Are you sure all the material is relevant to the plot, setting and atmosphere? Make sure each sentence makes sense to the reader, and each paragraph moves their experience forward.
Suspense and conflict
- The joy of reading often lies in the element of suspense prompted by internal or external conflicts. The build-up was intriguing and I felt the tension mounting with each word.
Technique and tight writing
- The writing was tight and economical and each word had purpose. This enabled the plot to unravel clearly. Your writing exhibits technical proficiency.
Point of view
- The story successfully solicited the reader’s empathy through the clever use of the narrator's point of view. You show great deftness in handling point of view.
Style and originality
- Creating a unique writing style while maintaining quality of prose is tricky. As writers, we face the daunting task of making sure we are not being predictable. Can you find a way to give the content and characters more of a unique edge? Perhaps say something boldly, something fresh or show an unorthodox approach to a topic?
Atmosphere and description
- Your story was a feast for the senses. The atmosphere wrapped itself around me and transported me onto the page alongside your characters.
Authentic and vivid setting
- The setting was realistic and vivid. The characters’ mood and emotions were conveyed successfully through the believable setting.
Opening line, paragraph and hook
- Great stories, nowadays, start with a powerful opening line and compelling hook in order to keep the reader engaged. Have you baited the reader enough?
Review 2:
Compelling hook?
Fresh?
Strong characters?
Entertaining?
Attention to mechanics
- You demonstrate a professional quality of writing throughout the story.
Narration and dialogue: Balance
- Your story struck a good balance between narration and authentic dialogue.
Narration and dialogue: Authentic voice
- Your characters’ voices were convincing and authentic.
Characterization
- Your characters were multidimensional. I found them believable and engaging and they genuinely responded to the events of the story.
Main character
- Your protagonist exhibited a unique voice and had original characteristics. Their actions and dialogue were convincing!
Character conflict
- Your characters drew me into their world from the very beginning. Their goals and conflicts were clearly conveyed.
Plot and pace
- Maintaining the right pace and sustaining the reader’s interest is a difficult balancing act. Are you sure all the material is relevant to the plot, setting and atmosphere? Make sure each sentence makes sense to the reader, and each paragraph moves their experience forward.
Suspense and conflict
- The joy of reading often lies in the element of suspense prompted by internal or external conflicts. Think about the conflict and tension in your story. How effectively has it been introduced?
Technique and tight writing
- When writing is tight, economical and each word has purpose, it enables the plot to unravel clearly. Try and make each individual word count.
Point of view
- Point of view helps the reader identify whose perspective we are engaging with, i.e. who is narrating the story. It can sometimes be helpful to double check that the point of view in the story is successfully handled. Ensure you consistently use the same point of view and tense throughout, either: a) First person; b) Third-person limited; or c) Third-person omniscient.
Style and originality
- Creating a unique writing style while maintaining quality of prose is tricky. As writers, we face the daunting task of making sure we are not being predictable. Can you find a way to give the content and characters more of a unique edge? Perhaps say something boldly, something fresh or show an unorthodox approach to a topic?
Atmosphere and description
- A writer’s ability to create mood and atmosphere through evocative description is vital to the reader’s experience. It’s a real skill to craft out how the characters react to the setting and atmosphere and perhaps your story could go further in its description. The reader wants to experience the same sensory and poignant journey as the characters.
Authentic and vivid setting
- The scene needs to be vivid and realistic in order to hold the reader’s attention. Being concise and plausible at the same time is tricky. Giving this further attention could perhaps be worthwhile.
Opening line, paragraph and hook
- Your great opening was a promise of wonderful things to come. I was hooked!
Review 3:
Compelling hook?
Fresh?
Strong characters?
Entertaining?
Attention to mechanics
- You demonstrate a professional quality of writing throughout the story.
Character conflict
- Your characters drew me into their world from the very beginning. Their goals and conflicts were clearly conveyed.
Plot and pace
- Maintaining the right pace and sustaining the reader’s interest is a challenging balancing act. The story had a clear and coherent progression with a structured plot. A truly absorbing story!
Technique and tight writing
- The writing was tight and economical and each word had purpose. This enabled the plot to unravel clearly. Your writing exhibits technical proficiency.
Point of view
- The story successfully solicited the reader’s empathy through the clever use of the narrator's point of view. You show great deftness in handling point of view.
Style and originality
- I loved your fresh approach. Creating a unique writing style while maintaining quality of prose requires both skill and practice. Impressive.
Atmosphere and description
- Your story was a feast for the senses. The atmosphere wrapped itself around me and transported me onto the page alongside your characters.
Authentic and vivid setting
- The setting was realistic and vivid. The characters’ mood and emotions were conveyed successfully through the believable setting.
Opening line, paragraph and hook
- Your great opening was a promise of wonderful things to come. I was hooked!