CHAPTER ONE

Who knows what happened anymore? The world has fallen, gone to the dogs and no one has tried to do a damn thing about it. The streets are filled with dirt and disorder and the homeless unashamed. The air intoxicated by the fumes produced by the factories that has taken residence in old rundown warehouses. And what is left of humanity is slowly disintegrating.
There is no such thing as being safe and secure, the only time you ever feel that way is if you were dead. The laws have been put into graves and the world now is a place of savagery and greed. I never saw anything different neither had my parents this is what we all knew the world to be like. It had become a myth you know, the blue skies and lively greenery on the outskirts of the cities and where people went about their own lives. Now it’s alla bout the survival of the fittest doing anything necessary to survive.
I had to drop out of school a few years back, there wasn't enough money then before I knew it I was using everything I learnt to teach my younger brother. We lived in Zone seven just as neglected as the rest of the zones, my parents had it rough and unfortunately soon passed away. It was a mystery and no one helped to figure out what had happened, and the worst was losing our home a few days later. I was thankful for being taken in by my neighbour’s nephew and his wife; the Carlson’s. They were the local teachers if you could still afford one, and they were kind and loving sharing my responsibility of my younger brother Derek.

Five years has passed since my parent’s death and I’m soon to be married in the next twenty four hours. I sit at Ms Carlson’s dresser that is slowly fighting against the odds of falling apart as I look down at the jewellery she has laid out for me. Rusty costume jewellery and one real sapphire gem encased in silver twisted as a pendant on a plain silver chain. I wonder just how she acquired something so luxurious, thinking its' probably a family heirloom. My hair is set naturally straight and simple its’ length incredibly long, my face bland since I had won the fight against wearing make-up, smiling just thinking about how kind they have always been to me.

Mr Carlson died from a heart-attack a year ago and that’s when their son had come back from the city and arrangements for us to marry were in motion without a single word of consent from me. I didn’t argue I owed them a lot so I was more than happy to marry their son and make Ms Carlson happy.
“Are you ready yet?” Derek pops his head into the small room, his eyes goes big as he takes a good look at me. “You look like pretty sis”
“Is that a compliment I here Skipper?” He blushes and nods while walking in seeming un-phased.
“Are you sure about this? It will mean you have to leave.” His big eyed smile drops and my heart drops to see him tainted by the thought of being alone. But I long decided no matter what I owed the Carlson family for giving my brother and I a warm home to live in and while this marriage had no love in it I didn’t mind and it was about time Derek stood on his own as much as it pained me.
“Think about all that they have done for us, besides maybe when you’re older I’ll come back for you that’s if a girl hasn’t caught your eye by then,” I wink and he blushes once more returning to our light moods from before. “Come here skipper,” I beckon him to stand at my side.
He did as he was told and standing beside me next to the bed laid his head on my shoulder. Derek was a good kid and never got into any trouble around the neighbourhood and I thanked my lucky stars that he was well matured for his age and understood. “I’ll let you finish up, don’t take too long now.” He kisses me on the cheek and disappears out the room. I still sensed a slight dullness to him but I couldn’t change what was happening.

A small wedding if you could even call it that, the Carlson’s couldn’t afford a lot so we settled on the backyard than the church. As I stood at the door I took a peak through the window at the yard filled with old furniture and people that I had become familiar with. There the shopkeepers from a few houses down sit restlessly, as well as a few co-workers of the groom, and then a few of Derek’s friends playing with cards. I didn’t look fancy but I managed to pull off my mother’s white sundress with black ribbons across the chest line as a fine wedding gown. I chose to use the sapphire a little scared of Ms Carlson seeing me in it but it was special and I couldn’t help feel this was a special occasion in a unconventional way.
Nervously I stood in the open doorway and my handsome young brother came to rescue me, afraid to walk down by myself. Apparently this was an old tradition of getting married and Ms Carlson’s great gran told her of it. Unsure of it I did my best to walk to the other end of the yard. I look up from beneath my lashes at the tall, intimidating and somehow weirdly attractive Kai Carlson who stands straight dressed in his suit, not a single hint of any other colour besides black. I think of him as a rather morbid and uninteresting kind of man with not much to say, and his dark eyes that hide behind his glasses never stops to rest on me. His hair unruly and unkempt with no attempt to be ever tamed is wet from his recent shower, his skin pale and bleak. I shudder as I think about how I am going to spend the rest of my already boring life with this utterly boring man.
I look straight ahead and push through my depressed thoughts and fears and finally come to where he stands with his hands fidgeting at his cuffs. The ceremony went on in a blur completely unaware of what I was doing and my body seemed to go through the motions on its own. Neither of us showed any interest. I continuously look over to where Derek stood with hints of tears in his eyes and I force a smile to reassure him. Ms Carlson hands me a tissue which I was puzzled by but soon realised my eyes were filled with tears of my own, which Ms Carlson mistook for tears of joy.
“I do.”
“I do.” We both whisper under our breaths.
“You are now man and wife.” The words spoken in total binding and I finally come to terms with it all, beating the denial out of me. Kai never once took my hand nor bothered to look at me for the rest of the night. There was light music playing and I was able to dress into something more comfortable, Derek kept busy with his friends and Ms Carlson was entertaining her guests and Kai stayed on the other side of the open yard deep into conversation with his co-workers. I didn’t have a lot of friends and the ones I did have were busy I have never felt so alone than now.

I walk around to the front and take a comfortable seat down on the porch while I glance at my left hand like it’s an alien. The ring is a single silver band that was supposed to mean the world to me, to make me feel like the happiest woman alive but all it did is make me loath my misfortune. As grateful as I was to have Ms Carlson I couldn’t stop the negativity of my circumstances overpower me.
“There you are dear,” Ms Carlson joins me with an extra cup of tea in her hand.
“Thanks.” She hands the cup to me and I take a sip of the sugary warmth, secret green tea that is her specialty.
“Now Kai may be my son but you’re my daughter as well and I can see it in your eyes that this is not what you planned for. Kai is a wonderful man and it will take time to see it but if you ever feel like you can’t do it you’re welcome to come back home, I’ll never force you into anything you don’t want.” And that tipped my scale in her favour, how could I say no it was the least I could do to show her how truly grateful I was to her. Her kind smile reminding me of what I’d miss the most and slowly without my knowledge the tears streamed down my face on their own and continued to rain down like a storm.