But I'm complicated, why didn't you see that? You blamed me like I was deliberately trying to hurt you but I wasn't. I couldn't help it and I still can't. My mind is a massive storm and the times I tell you I love you is when we're in the eye of the storm. Everything is calm and I can see clearly but the winds pick up again even faster and I'm thrown into the ocean with tsunami waves crashing over me. I never bring you with me
when I leave. You're still waiting in the eye, in the calmness and you don't see that I've left. You don't see that I'm in the middle of a hurricane, tornado and tsunami all wrapped into one. I love you but I won't always be that girl on the beach with you on summer nights looking up at the stars. I won't be that girl singing into plastic forks pretending they're microphones as we drive endlessly through the streets. Im that girl but I'm not always her. Sometimes I'll be the
girl that cries on the bathroom floor for 3 hours only to pick herself up and cry on her bedroom floor. I'll be the girl who is oblivious to all the good in the world because my eyes have gone blind and for a few days all I see is black. I'll be the girl who won't talk to you for a few days because I've turned my phone off and got in my car and just drove for days. Drove away from here because I really just want to drive away from myself and I can't. Sometimes I'll be the girl who will make you tea and watch Harry potter with you after we swam in piles of snow but I'll also be the girl who throws the tea cup to the ground and then steps on the glass pieces simply because I need to feel something. Simply because I'm hoping the glass will pierce through the numbness that takes over my whole body. I think you always wanted to be in the eye of the storm with me. And sometimes you would venture out into the storm only to find that you
didn't like the rain as much as you thought and the winds were too strong for you to stand up straight and the waves crashing hurt your ears. You thought you were in love with storms but you weren't. Storms are beautiful on the outside and entrancing but they are not beautiful when you are trying to survive in one.