Sylvia stood in the doorway and sighed. Here she was a forty nine year old woman whose life ostensibly seemed to work. She had a twenty five year marriage that she deemed acceptable, on a comfort level anyway. Gerald was away a lot and she knew he loved her, in a comfortable way as well. They ate at least once a week together, they shared the same bed but it had been years since they were intimate. They lived in an affluent neighborhood that was free of crime, mostly that is. They had raised two beautiful boys that had been Sylvia’s pride and joy. Today was different, so much different. Sylvia closed the door and leaned back against it holding it in. She had to be strong, yet all her education and years in her own private practice did not provide her with enough to deal with this. She would not cry.
She took a deep breath. She left Gerald and the treatment group in the library where they were waiting for her to bring Toby in. They had met for the past hour setting up the intervention. There was a bed waiting for Toby at a select treatment center. Everyone had their script in hand and knew the signals they would share when Toby began his defense. Sylvia shivered as she knocked on Toby’s bedroom door.
“Yeah? What do you want?” Toby muttered through the door. She barely understood him.
“Toby?...Toby?...Toby open the door. I need you to come downstairs with me. Come on, please come down with me. We have to talk.” Sylvia said while looking at the door. She was imagining what state of mind Toby would be in. He had spent the last several months avoiding talking to her. She had only found out last week that he had been skipping school and was running around with some undesirables, as she thought of them. It seemed like it was just yesterday when a couple of those boys along with Toby were in her kitchen eating cookies and talking excitedly about a video game they were keen on. All of them were sweet boys and so innocent. She never thought Toby would be in need of treatment in less than two years. He was a good boy. Now he was a freshman at Roosevelt High School and was failing. He was so smart, how did he get into this mess. “Toby? Toby open the door!” she yelled as she opened the door and looked down on Toby who was lying on his bed.
God! He looked like a skeleton to her. “Come on Toby.” The room had that strange smell that you get in an old folks home, chemically smelling. She had searched his room yesterday and found some pipes, some strange powder that she knew had to be methamphetamines and some marijuana. She totally cleaned his room and when he came in last night she heard him trashing his room. Today it was a wreck, he had even cracked his computer monitor. Broken toys, clothes and trash were everywhere.
“Just leave me alone Mom. I want to sleep. I don’t need anything and don’t want to talk to you and Dad.”
“No Toby, We need you to come down and we need to talk to you. “
“Leave me alone, just go fuck yourself.”
“Toby! Don’t you ever say that to me again! You are in trouble and we need to deal with your problem and we need to do it now!” Sylvia said with anger and anxiety in her voice. She was not going to cry, she was not.
“Oh sorry Mom, you don’t like to hear what your precious boy is thinking. Just go on down, I will come down in a little while, right now I need to sleep.” He said and then turned over and pulled the covers over his head just like he did when he was six years old. He curled up in a fetal position.
Sylvia took a deep breath and went over and sat down next to him on the edge of the bed. Thoughts of her father came to her when she sat down. He would know what to do. He always had something good to say during difficult times. She remembered when she was in medical school, she and Gerald had a terrible fight. She had called him up and he had just listened to her. He didn’t say anything she could remember but she felt his love for her through the phone. He asked questions and pointed out all the good things she was doing and had done and he helped her review all the things she loved about Gerald and she ended up feeling that love again. Thinking of her father she felt better, stronger and in control of her emotions. She stroked Toby’s arm and he yanked it away from her touch. “Mom. Please just leave me alone, I don’t need your help. I’m okay. I am just tired, I was up late last night.”




“Yes, you were awake last night, the night before that, and the night before that. Can’t you see that you are losing it? You don’t eat, you don’t sleep, you stay out all hours of the night, and you know that you aren’t supposed to do that, especially on school nights. Principal Strong actually called us and reported how many days you have been skipping. She told me that she suspected that you were using drugs when they caught you and your friends in the Gym bathroom last week. It was the tipping point for her to call us. Now get up!” She pulled the covers off him and he sat up looking directly at her for the first time. She gave him that don’t mess with me look that he shrank back from for a second and then got up. He slowly put on a pair of pants and slipped his feet into his house slippers. Looking at her with sullen look on his face he followed her to the door.
She led him to the library and when they entered Toby stopped in his tracks inside the door. Gerald was up in a heartbeat and closed the door baring Toby’s escape. Gerald put his hand on Toby’s shoulder and said, “Sit down over there son. Mother and I have brought in these experts to help you out. Now, sit down.”
Stunned, Toby went over and sat down right when the phone rang.
Sylvia left the library to go answer the phone. Almost as soon as she picked up the phone the yelling and cursing in the library started up. Sylvia closed her eyes trying hard to deal with the call, “Hello? Is there someone there?”
“Sis….Sis…its Dad. It’s…Dad.” Sylvia heard sobbing.
“Edith?..Edie is that you? Has something happened to Dad?” Sylvia said with a lump in her throat and dread in her heart.
“Sorry, Sylvie but its Dad. He collapsed a while ago with your name on his lips. The ambulance is on the way. Mother held him before he went out, he kept saying your name and come.”
“Jesus Edie, what is going on? I am in the middle of a crisis here and don’t know if I can come right away.” Sylvia heard movement coming from the library like a fight going on, intermingled with Toby’s yelling, crying and cursing at the top of his lungs. ‘’Edie? What’s wrong with Dad? Is..?”
“No, he’s not dead. Sylvia the ambulance is here! I have to go. Come! Come now!” Edie slammed the phone in Sylvia’s ear while standing there with her mouth open.
She couldn’t think for a minute. Suddenly she felt her father’s presence like a warm breeze gliding by. She couldn’t move or react to anything. She didn’t realize it but the fighting and the yelling had just as suddenly stopped. Freed from the paralysis she was experiencing she found the house silent. Too silent. She had to go to her Dad but she walked to the library door, she pushed it open with a strength she did not realize she had.
Toby was on the floor on his knees crying. All the men around him were also on their knees with their head’s bowed in what looked like prayer. She knew Gerald hadn’t prayed in 25 years. But something was definitely up. She wondered how was she going to handle what was being required of her. She wanted to cry, sleep, run, anything. Her heart was racing. She didn’t feel faint but very weak when she-she just felt at peace. She looked over to Toby and asked him, “Toby, Toby my boy are you alright?”
“Mom, I can’t explain it but I feel like I can beat it. I felt a presence and thought of grandpa. I think I can do it.”
Sylvia thought about her father and smiled.